grief on the hunt

Grief is like a lion on the hunt. When you think everything is peaceful and you are doing good or are safe...it attacks. And just like a lion does to its' prey it rips you apart again and you have to almost start the healing process over. I hate it so much!!!!!! It makes you feel so alone and it makes your world stop as you watch everyone else's lives go on around you. As you struggle to get to the mountain top, it slides you back down into the valley.
I know the enemy uses grief against you. He tells you things like you won't make it and your circumstances aren't fair. He tells you, you are alone and God doesn't care. He tells you things like, there is no point in going on.

I know in my process even though sometimes my faith faulters, I just keep having to say it and I have to believe it even when I don't. I have to hold onto the FACT that God is in control. He loves me more than I can even understand. He uses all things for His Glory. He loves me! He loves me! He loves me! I will trust Him! I will not let the enemy win! My God will win! My God holds me in his hands and right now I am just gonna let Him carry me. He loves Beckett and He is holding him! He will help me defeat this! If He can send His son to die for me so that I can spend eternity with Him, then He can handle my fears, emotions, and doubts and craziness!