Today I felt such a strong need to go and visit Beckett. I know Beckett is not in his grave, he is with Jesus but I needed to go and visit him. This bothers my husband because he is not there but Beckett's grave is all I have. I felt an incredibly strong urge to just be near him and just cry.
Everytime I turn on the tv someone is pregnant or having a baby. I don't get upset or angry. I just have a longing for my baby. I keep thinking about the moment I will meet him in Heaven. Will he be an adult or will he be a baby? We will all have our heavenly bodies and I don't necessarily know what that means. Will I instantly know about the time he was in Heaven without me? I sure hope so. Will Beckett be one of the first ones I meet? Will he finally get to call me mom or will any of that matter because we are in Heaven. For now, I need to believe, it does matter and Beckett will be there and be one of the first people I see. I can't wait!
In my humble opinion, if you want to go visit Beckett's grave, you should go. I can't tell you how many time I have gone to visit mama and daddy's graves. Sometimes I just need to go. I don't tell anybody. I just go to be near the last place I knew their bodies were.It makes me feel better and gets me through to the next time.
ReplyDeleteThe Bible says that when we get to Heaven we will be known as were known. So if that is true, then I take that to mean you will know your son as your baby son. BUT the first person you will meet will be Jesus - and then you'll most likely meet Beckett. ;-) Love ya!!!
For the record I am not against visiting the grave. I indeed understand the need to go there not because he is there but because it is a point of referance for us. I too will go there. It is a good place to pray and remember. I believe in heaven we will be able to experiance a lifetime in some miraculous way. In the meantime I am confident that we have our grandparents there doting on Beckett. - Justin -
ReplyDeleteFrom Songfacts.com about "You Wouldn't Cry (Andrew's Song)" by Mandisa: This song was inspired by a pregnant woman named Rebecca, who Mandisa met at one of her shows in 2008. As they talked, Mandisa prayed for God's protection over the baby. The following week the little boy, who Rebecca had called Andrew, was stillborn. When Mandisa heard the tragic news she wrote the grieving mom a letter, along with a CD of songs she had compiled, to encourage Rebecca. Mandisa told Christian Music Today: "I remember thinking there was no song that was going to be from Andrew's perspective." The following week the singer got together with Cindy Morgan to pen some songs. Mandisa told her songwriting partner Rebecca's story, and after contemplating what Andrew would say to his mom, they wrote this moving number about the wonders the little boy is experiencing in heaven with God. Later Mandisa had the privilege of singing the song for Rebecca. She told Christian Music Today: "It brought her so much comfort to think that when she sees her son again he's going to be able to show her around heaven and show her all the things he's been experiencing. It's my prayer, and I know it's Rebecca's prayer, that Andrew's song would encourage others who are going through similar loss."
ReplyDeleteListen, please, with a box of klennex and your husband to hold you. Love you!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFOdA52sjFA