It's done. Just our closest family and a few friends went to the cemetary this afternoon. It was sunshiny and beautiful. You could hear the birds singing. As I looked around you could see the hills surrounding the spot where we buried our son. It is a nice spot.
The casket was baby blue and not much bigger than a shoebox. The hole for the casket was only a couple of feet wide. It just didn't seem right. It didn't seem right to be buring this tiny child with all of these people who got to live till they were older and enjoy life.
I wanted to see the casket so we had Wasson's not put it in the box until we got out to the cemetary. It was so small it fit in the front seat. The front seat! Of course when I saw it I lost it but pulled it together fairly quickly. Then they had to put the casket in a wooden box. I hope these next few lines don't affend anyone. I walked away and turned around so I couldn't see them putting my son in a wooden box. And then I heard it. Hammer to nails going into wood. My mind immediately went to....this must have been how it felt when God gave up Jesus. Excrutiating pain to let go of your child. I have imagined how this must have felt before but I don't really truly think I understood it until that moment. I have a deeper understanding and a deeper amazement that God would give up His Son for me. I am going to be honest, I wouldn't do that for you. I would lay down my life for many of you but I wouldn't sacrifice any of my children for you. I don't mean that to hateful, I just mean, you need to wrap your mind around what God did for you. He did something for you that I don't think you could do for others.
Jesus died for you. God gave His son to die on a cross so that you could go to Heaven. You are a sinner. I am too. (sometimes I think I am the worst of the worst) Unless you ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins and accept that he died for us and to come and live in your heart, you will spend eternity without Him. I am not a Bible scholar but if you want to talk about this with me send me your number and I will call. I don't have all the answers but I know God loves you and wants you to be in Heaven with him someday. I want you to be Heaven too. I want you to meet my Beckett. I know you will love him.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that who so ever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.
Stacy... Oh, how my heart hurts for you, but oh, how it also rejoices that you are a follower of Jesus. What you are doing is remarkable. Through your grief, and through your pain, you are giving glory to God and praising Jesus for His sacrifice for you. Oh, how I pray many blessings for you and your family! To God be the glory!
ReplyDeleteOn this particular day when I was taking Makaley to Coco's the Lord brought to my mind "His Strength Is Perfect." This is a song that I used to sing in church years ago. I started humming the song and Makaley wanted to know what I was singing. So I told her and sang it to her on the way to "school." On this day maybe more than others we were going to need strength.
ReplyDeleteIt was difficult and we needed His strength as well as the strength of each other to get through, but we managed to get through. This has drawn us closer as a family and made me realize how much more I love my children and grandchildren.